What was I thinking? I am not talking about my silly thing done at work that time. I am not talking about when I was drunk. I am not talking about that time that lead to a long winding political discussion. I am not talking about any time, of which there were so many of them, where I said something or did something that was … ill advised.
No, I am asking about that time this morning or this afternoon when I was just thinking. What was I thinking about?
Sometimes when you think about something that upsets you, well maybe you, or I, remember that thought for a few hours. But mostly I have no real idea of what I was thinking just a few hours later.
They do not seem to be that important. Yet, well, whenever you are thinking something it seems to be pretty important at the time. So important at a moment and totally forgotten before you sleep that night.
I remember a time when I thought. I had done something and my brain shut up. I loved that activity. It got my brain to quiet down. At least for a little while. It still, for the most part, keeps my brain from talking non-stop.
Now it seems like my brain and its talking is quieter. Like background music. Perhaps I know what it is saying. So, so what?
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This morning I did another piece of NaNoWriMo writing. It was my fifth in a row. This leads me to thinking (??) that I can do it for a month. I just need to work out an outline. This does not, yet, seem like a big deal. Yes, this guy who typed many One Typed Pages with “I have no idea of what I will type today” openings. The whole point is to get the 50,000 words down. There can be plot holes. There can be “what? how did you get from A to B” there. Those problems come from a first draft. Especially a first first draft. Though it would be nice to have some bits of consistency there. Well, I will find out then. Or so I hope,
— MichaelRpdx :: rkmm
PS – Kind of like this One Typed Page. A first draft.