Well – I Laughed

What? Really?

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I opened up email and found this.

[楽天市場】支払情報一致していません

Rakutenお客様

私たちはあなたの楽天会員アカウントとすべての保留中の注文を保持しました。
 
ご提供いただいたお支払い情報がカード発行会社のファイルの情報と一致していません。 この問題を解決するには、支払いカードに登録されている名前、住所、電話番号を確認してください。 最近引っ越した場合は、カード発行会社でこの情報を更新する必要があるかもしれません。

~ A spam

Which, according to Google Translate, means:

[Rakuten Ichiba] Payment information does not match

Rakuten Customers

We have retained your Rakuten member account and all pending orders.

The payment information you provided does not match the information in the card issuer’s file. To resolve this issue, please check the name, address and phone number on your payment card. If you recently moved, your card issuer may need to update this information

~ Google Translate

This is the first Japanese based SPAM for me. Fun!! I’ve head it in Italian and Germany and (I think) Spanish before. Add Japanese to the list.

With Phlebotomists

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Reading a book, a good book.
Taken in for a blood draw. Not a finger poke, like they do in Eastside. She says she doesn’t like finger pokes. But she’s good. She looks atmy right arm. Puts the needle in, wiggles it. Apologies. Withdraws. Looks for another place to try. Another phlebotomist comes by. We’re talking about the book while she looks for a place.

The alternate, as full of confidence as the first, hits the vein. But it doesn’t draw. There is a bump on my arm. We talk, I’m used to being missed. I have the book to the first and tell her to read aloud while the second tried again. She starts in on “She says STFU.” They are both laughing. I am too. She switches arms and gets it.

We laugh me out. With a bandage on each arm. Normally, they just do a finger poke. Next time I will.

Fair Warnings

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I have a friend on Facebook that used to live in Portland. He’s moved to a distant place, so FB is our contact point. This guy, yeah, I’m guarding his identity, is also a bit of a public figure. He is internationally famous in his field of work. He gets massive amounts of FB Friend requests from fans. Periodically he batch approves them and then sends out this notice so the new “friends” know what to expect. Note: some redacting perfomed.

IF YOU JUST HAD YOUR FRIEND REQUEST APPROVED, PLEASE READ THIS.

Okay, so I just approved a gazillion new friend requests, so here are some basic facts to prepare you noobs. You people who were already here can just carry on or mock me as you usually do when I post this one.

  1. Do not ask me to like your page. I will not. And I will unfriend and block you.

  2. Do not add me to groups or poke me.

  3. It is not necessary to thank me for adding you. That’s a leftover from MySpace.

  4. On a similar token, if I just now approved your friend request, it means I don’t actually know you. If you voted for Trump or admire him or his policies, kindly fuck off and unfriend me and save us a lot of grief. People might give me shit about not being open to other ideas, but if I don’t know you yet, I don’t really care about your ideas yet and if you like Trump, it’s a pretty good indication that I will strongly dislike you. I’m old enough that I’ve already heard the other side’s arguments for a long fucking time and know that I do NOT agree with them. Any family or friends from the real world get a pass. Them, I will always listen to even if I disagree with them. But for people I don’t even actually know? No. No Trump people.

And to add to this, if you are Alt Right or use the term SJW or Social Justice Warrior to describe people you disagree with, please fuck off. If you do not believe in diversity in comics, supported gamer gate doxxing or believe in doxxing in general, FUCK OFF. I want nothing to do with you.

If you think it’s cool to harass creators, fuck off. If you are happy about Star Wars actors being driven from social media because of harassment, fuck off.

  1. I also post a ton of stuff about beer because I brew beer and am heavily involved in the brewing and beer scene here in [home area].

  2. I post a ton of comics stuff, mostly my own work, often step by step or work-in-progress stuff. So, for comics folks, it shouldn’t be too bad. Just ignore the other posts if you don’t wanna read them.

  3. I love my family and post about them with kids pics and stuff. I love my distant family as well and stay in touch with them here.

  4. Do not post spoilers. I will unfriend and block you.

  5. I write rants sometimes and curse and use the word fuck. If you are easily offended, save us all some grief and go away.

  6. I will not promote your kickstarter, so don’t ask.

And: “why don’t you have a professional page, [name]?”

I don’t feel like managing yet another page. I already manage this page, the [my area] homebrew competition page and Twitter, my own Twitter and the homebrew competition website. That is enough work for me at the moment. People will have to filter stuff. Just the way it is.

Welcome. And cheers from [Here]!